Minnesota Winter Quiz

What follows is a Minnesota quiz.  Answers will be printed in the spring or when we feel the promised “trickle down” of Super Bowl money, whichever comes first.  Be sure to choose the answer that is most correct.

Example:  Which of the following could be termed the worst natural disaster?

  1. Hurricane Camille, 1969, (Louisiana, Mississippi)
  2. San Francisco Earthquake, 1906, (California)
  3. Galveston Flood, 1900, (Texas)
  4. Any Minnesota Winter

 

Hurricane Camille killed 24 and left 20,000 homeless.  The San Francisco earthquake destroyed much of the beautiful city, killed 600, and left 300,000 homeless.  Six thousand died and property damage exceeded $17 Million in the Galveston flood.  Remember, though, the question asked was which was the worst disaster.  A, B, and C, were horrible disasters in their time, but they were one shot deals.  Visit all four of these areas this February and you will see that the answer is D.

There is a heavy snowfall on Friday evening commencing at 11:00 pm.  You should

              1. Remain in your car until on official snow emergency is declared.
              2. Park on the odd-numbered side of an East/West street.
              3. Leave your car where it is but be prepared to move it before 7:00 am Saturday.
              4. Park on the even side of the street because your license plate ends in a vowel.
              5. Insufficient information.

Mr. Johnson, 48, has recently purchased a Toro Snowblower Model DLC-X for $479.00.  If Richie (age 12) charged $3.00 to shovel Mr. Johnson’s walk, how many years will it take Mr. Johnson’s heirs to recoup the investment if gas remains at $1.20 per gallon?

  1. It depends on if it’s the Mr. Johnson on Emerson Avenue
  2. It depends on if Richie goes to the ‘U’ and lives at home
  3. $1.20 a gallon, I’ll bet!
  4. B and C

 New down gloves for Billy (age 11) cost $22.95.  Billy’s Aunt Harriet says she will pay $5.00 toward the gloves.  Billy’s mother finds a coupon for 15% off on the gloves at Daytons.  Billy’s dad says he will contribute 1-1/2 times as much as Aunt Harriet toward the gloves.  How long will it be until Billy loses the gloves?

____ (answer in hours)

____ (answer in minutes)

Which of the following is the least likely to return to the Twin Citie?

  1. Jack Morris
  2. John Denver
  3. Professional basketball
  4. Professional football

Which novel would best help a Californian relate to (understand) the Minnesota winter experience

  1. Dr. Zhivago by Boris Pasternak
  2. The Call of the Wild by Jack London
  3. Alive by Paul Piers Reid
  4. One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
  5. All of the Above

Sam shovels 9” of snow on Friday, 11” on Sunday and 16” on Wednesday.  Why doesn’t he take his brother’s offer to join him in the fabric business in Phoenix?  (short answer)

The current reason that the Vikings can not win the Super Bowl is…

  1. Parity
  2. They would have to put up with Sid Hartman for an extra month.
  3. They have become accustomed to artificial light and can not adapt to ‘natural conditions’.
  4. The other teams in their division are so pathetic that they appear adequate by comparison.

Essay:  Explain the difference between wet cold and dry cold.  Discuss how Minnesotans lived before the wind chill was invented.

 

 Tom H. Cook is a very local and often chilly humorist.

 

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